Susie's story

Beautiful susie the mannequin entered my life when I was walking to the Oxfam shop I work in Saturday afternoons. I live just round the corner from my favourite venue (The Zodiac) and a nice Indian restaurant (the Dhaka) and between them is a small party shop. Today, stood outside the party shop, was a small pile of pots, a box of things, and a naked mannequin with a note stuck to her stomach. I held it steady in the wind. "BUY ME" it said. So I went into the shop and bought her.

The man in the shop wanted £7.50 which seemed fair enough. Susie was, after all, damaged goods. Aside from the missing hand, she was also sporting a major dent to the leg, another to her left breast, as well as numerous spots of paint, scrapes, nicks and stains. Her arm fitted awkwardly, almost as if it had been intended for another mannequin entirely, and her lurching pose meant she took up loads of space. And aside from all that, she had no hair. The man in the shop was so apologetic. I left him my number in case her hand turned up somewhere, and left, grinning, with a naked mannequin tucked under my arm.

On my way back home some bloke spotted me from across the street, grinning my head off, big leather coat flapping in the breeze, naked mannequin...